Aphorisms

1. The one stuck waiting thinks he’s the better person. The one running late knows she’s the better fuck.

2. What would Kant have said about the almost-promise? “First, I shall make an almost-promise with the goal of almost-promoting my own well-being. Second, everyone shall make almost-promises with the goal of almost-promoting nobody’s well-being.”

3. Masters in the art of overbooking are bookies in the art of the apology.

4. It’s wise to accuse before you’ve been hurt: The Trial is best grasped through experience.