From insistence to amazement

1. I insist that P.

OED Etymology:  < Latin insistĕre to stand upon, persist, dwell upon

Insisting that P means either (a) maintaining that a thing is so (OED) or (b) urging that some course of action must be taken. Example of (a): ‘I insist that federal taxes are too high.’ Example of (b): ‘Off with his head! Off with her head!’

2. I have given up taking a firm stand, standing upon. Now I believe that P but wouldn’t necessarily insist that P.

What has happened? Insistence is often motivated by arrogance or fear. So, I have been broken of my arrogance, or I have overcome my fear.

3. I have become open. Openness is a receptivity to what is or to what is occurring.

4. Out of this openness, I wonder: is it true that P? I do not know.

5. Wonderment opens the way for the experience of amazement. Now I am in the presence of what is so but cannot be grasped yet by the intellect. I cannot believe or fathom what I am seeing. In a word, I am amazed to discover that Q.


And what have I learned? Now I care more about finding the truth, whatever it turns out to be, than I do about being right from the beginning. More: I do not care anymore about being right.