Late Bloomers and the Unlikelihood of Second Chances

This world does not look charitably upon late bloomers. So charming are the rarest of late bloomers that this world does not sneer at them or, more like, turn a blind eye to their fate but otherwise, well, woe be to the fellar who discovers a third or a halfway through life that something grand is shaking him to change his life course.

Silly as it is to say, things are tilted in favor of the one who can tell a linear story going back to the very “origin” of his being. This is as true of the careerist who spouts off crap progression through bullshit jobs as it is of the roshi (look at all that training since age 6), the yogi, and the artist. If it takes you a while to awaken to what bestirs your spirit or sends you off humming, then you’re likely to be passed and passed over.

Want a second chance in this life? “Good luck with that,” this world says. “You should have known your mind when you were still in the womb. Why, huh?, were you so ignorant or indecisive?”

Playing in bad faith, this world likes to have it both ways: it’s good for you to grow, to develop, and all that, and it’s good for us to be open-minded and all that, and we really, really do believe in justice and fairness (etc.), and it’s really good to be accepting, but come late to the party and you’ll likely be turned away. “You feel that cold breeze. Shit’s cold.”

The second best strategy of the late bloomer is to make shit up. “Oh yeah, I’ve been doing this, you know, in one form or another since I was, like, 2. So, you know, I’m really legitimate after all.” “Well… we’re not sure about you. Won’t you bolt tomorrow? Hey, show us your badge again. Oh, you don’t have one? Huh. How’d you get in here?”

It’s no wonder that so many late bloomers are making shit up (isn’t a resume or a CV just that?) or, thankfully yet riskily, turning to entrepreneurship. The best late bloomers figured out how to never hear again: “how’d you get in here anyway?” How they did that is a bit of a mystery.

Late bloomers, I feel great sympathy for you. I’m on your side, thinking with you, of you.

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