The point is to get to the trailhead. Everything else is beside the point.

The trailhead does not begin, per se, with addiction, or with the loss of an elder sister (as was so for me), or with the end of a relationship, and with a shocking disappointment. For the longest time, it can seem as if we simply want to get past addiction, simply wish to finish grieving over our loss, simply have to accept the end of this relationship. So be it–but then samsara continues in some other form, in some form or other. The wheel continues to inexorably turn.

(I remember being gripped by two “natural koan.” One was: “Is this all there is?” Such is the question of immortality. The other was: “I’ve never been at home here. Where is home, what is home?” This is the question of ananda. Both are variants on what Zen terms the Great Matter.)

It’s only when we directly thematize suffering and the absolute, that is, total end of suffering that the trailhead miraculously appears. It’s only when we bring this question squarely, sharply, singularly into view that the nondual teaching can be imparted, and heard.

Or–to say the same thing “from the other side”–it’s only when we long above all for Liberation, for Truth that the path really opens up underfoot. Hold onto this sweet, subtle longing with tenderness.