‘Everything Seemed Perfect…’

Everything seemed perfect. Or at least it was supposed to be. No, you know that it’s perfect, don’t you? Besides, other people tell you–at brunch, at dinner parties–that you have it really good.

There’s, as the gods and goddesses see it, only one tiny problem. One little thing that’s been overlooked or left out of the accounts. Not as revenue or expense but as something else entirety.

What’s that?

Oh, come on. You know. You know.

No, I don’t know.

OOOOK. What’s that little feeling in your gut? That little feeling that’s been there for years?

I don’t know. It’s nothing.

Well, then we have nothing to discuss. Get back to me when you’re being honest with yourself.

I am being honest with myself.

No, you’re telling yourself stories about how everything is perfect. But your own experience, which you keep turning away from, is telling you otherwise. Therefore, I don’t see how we can have an honest discussion until you’re willing to be honest with yourself.

But I am being honest with myself.

Insisting that you’re being honest with yourself without being honest with yourself is just a way of lying to yourself about yourself and now also to me. Surrender to the possibility of being honest with yourself, if you’re ready, and see what happens.

But I’m scared. What will I find?

Nobody knows. I don’t and neither do you.

But I don’t want my life to change.

There are no assurances that I, or anyone else, can provide you with. At some point, you must choose: is love of truth, regardless of consequences, my path, or is my path the love of people’s opinions, those that tell you that you’ve “got it good” and that “you’ve got everything”?

I don’t know. I just know that I want the feeling to go away and then everything will be as perfect as I believe it otherwise is.

If that’s what you believe, then you have your answer. If a doubt still remains, then stay with the doubt.